Friday, April 30, 2010

celeb for a night.

I was a little nervous to go to the Lady Gaga fashion show. I won't lie. I love to dance. I love parties. But I am not really a 'club' girl. So I wasn't sure what to expect. I went with some good girlfriends. We met at my darling friend Sara's house for appetizers and showed off our outfits before hitting the scene. The entire drive up I had swans swarming my stomach. What was I supposed to DO at a fashion show? What if people...gulp...talked to me? When we pulled up and then 'made our entrance' I was Abruptly Overwhelmed. :-)))

The gauzy lights, pulsing music, shattering movements of bodies around me. And then cameras flashing.

I felt like I just stepped onto a movie set. We were attacked my 'paparazzi'. They chased us with flashes, ushered us to poses and 'sets'. At first I thought COOL. But then my cheeks started hurting. The way they often do when I tackle more than one princess party in a day (for those of you who don't know my second job is dressing up like a princess and playing with kids, fun, but tiring).

We were given the VIP treatment. Literally. First we were escorted to this rad overlook with this techno water that poured down the glass that surrounded us. The seats were fat, non-symmetrical cushions. I wasn't sure HOW to sit properly on such a strange shape, so I just...improvised. Up in the Water Room I was approached by a guy. We shall call him Dreamy. He had longish hair, and looked somewhere between rogue and artsy. Not my usual type. Okay...a girl isn't picky when a rogue artsy type approaches you. Dreamy was charming, flattering, and new exactly what to say.

What was weirder was...I KNEW what to say. Like I'd watched the same movies and sitcoms he had growing up, our dialogue bounced back and forth in a fiery, yet predictable pattern that had me thinking, "do people really talk like this?" I mean...I'm used to the dudes from church who approach you with a "hey lets go play Mario Card." Not some suave "I've never seen a face like yours"...blah blah buttering up blah.

The night played on like an episode of The Hills. Complete with random club goers snapping pics of us with their phones (it seemed everyone thought we were SOMEONE), the offer of free drinks all around (I don't drink, but enjoyed a diet coke), and tons of gym attending attractive guys with heavy lidded eyes approaching.

And just like an episode of The Hills I remember the night in subtle, edited fragments. And I think it will stay that way in my memory. One episode. That I can re-run but never re-write.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I am not In.

I am not in the club.
I am not in the clique.
I am not in the circle.
I never could fit.

I am not in the house.
I am not in the yard.
I am not on the moon.
I landed here on mars.

Galaxies away. I cannot reach.
I watch the couples. The white. The roses.
I have nothing.

Its not that I can't.
Its not that I won't.
But I'm tired of the
invitation only party
I'm tired of always
knocking. Knocking.

But no one comes.
to let me in.

I am not In.

Friday, April 23, 2010

a touchable dream

you're a little bit of chocolate
when i'm feeling sad
a little bit of asprin
when my headaches bad
with you i don't need wings to fly
i'm already up there, constant high
you're a wish in a well
my secret to tell
a black and white scene
a touchable dream
A kiss in a car-- that goes too far
A chink in the armor I wear
over my heart
My summer in Italy
When the night is chilly

You're the streak of sun
That splits the storm
Melting my knees
Making me warm

Friday, April 16, 2010

oh and on that Note. (music that is) and my beautiful friend Sara's photography. She is brilliant. Can even make me shine up okay

I have been working my little mind into a slushy writing songs lately. Some ideas I am playing with

Red Tricycle Love
Almost Fairy Tale
Off Guard
Better Than a Fantasy
The Cinderella Song (Em's song)
Valentine Me
Wendy's Song
One More Time

anddddd there's more.

Jussss to name a few.

You know I love other peoples stories, so if ya got a good one let me know and we can inspire it into some cool lyrics :-)

learning to walk on my hands

I feel like this new year has so far been
One: Amazing
Two: A journey
Three: Full of discovery
Four: Learning to walk on my hands...

Our entire lives we are told to walk on our feet. I have to say, I have always wanted to rebel and be the one person at the mall stumbling my way around upside down. This may seem strange. But if you haven't already picked up on the fact that this is an analogy for life, perhaps you should do a handstand or two, come back, and read again.

Yes. I want to walk on my hands.
Yes. I believe in fairy tales.
Yes. I think every moment of life CAN be a fairy tale
And Yes. I have disappointments and heartache and setbacks...but that's what makes me more exited to turn the page. Every day can be its own story, every hour might have a new dragon for me to fight, but I want to fight it. I want the hard parts...because then I can have the happily ever after. And start all over again the next day with Once Upon a Time.