time to be honest with myself

If I'm honest with myself
I'll know you're still with me
Whether you know it or not
Because you still echo
through me

If I'm honest with myself
I'll know all the empty
romance in-between
has filled some cracks
but not sown the seams
because you somehow
still sink in

If I'm honest with myself
I'll admit I still care
more than I admit, more than I dare
And probably more than you do
And that's the worst part
But if I'm honest with myself
I'll face this part of my heart

The part I've tried to run from
Tried to leave behind
Tried to ignore
Tried to make mine

But if I'm honest with myself
I'll know that I can't
get it back
Can't ignore it
can't run from it
Can't keep it

Because I gave it away
So its not really mine
To say if I am okay
Or if I am 'over' it
If I'm honest with myself
I can write the truth
That I don't want to write

If I'm honest with myself
I'm opening myself up
For deeper hurt, maybe
But for stronger truth
Because I cant lie to my heart
No matter what anyone says
Those songs about being strong
And alone
They are lies to my soul
BandAid remedies
cough syrup for a cold
It wont get better
But it might start getting
simpler

Please.

Please.

Please.

Get simpler.

If I'm honest with myself

If.

If.